i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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