nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize