Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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