Can Purell be used as lube?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
