My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
