can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My balls are so social today.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Randomize
