So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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