If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
