you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
