I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I AM VODKA MAN
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
