So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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