I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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