and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
