It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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