Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
