It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
