you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
