I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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