Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Mom said you looked used
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
