remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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