My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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