You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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