Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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