you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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