: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize