I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
