Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize