just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
