Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
