im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
