The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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