3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize