If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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