there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
