wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
