Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
