I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
