I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
