would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
