You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
