Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
