I looked at my own cervix.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
