meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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