Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
