her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
