Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
