I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something about gay babies.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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