She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
