We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
