I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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