she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
