she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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