When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
