well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
