Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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