You're my little dorito
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
